Embracing what is

I had a friend with whom I used to spend a lot of time hanging out.

If I had to go out, if I was bored at home, he was the first and perhaps the only person I would dial to (and this was the daily norm).

We would drive to the countryside, talk about the future and career, or simply appreciate the scenery and the present time back then.

Time passed. I started looking for work. And so he did. And then we lived in different cities but we kept in touch.

One day he stopped communications.

I had no clue about it until months had passed and I began to finally realize there was no proper response to my messages or the return of my calls.

He was working for my brother and their relationship had strained.

And when once I finally got to talk to him, he ended our friendship.

I was stunned.

We had spent years studying and living together. We had a shared background of academic failures and a strong belief that the failure was a temporary phase and both of us would go on to build good futures.

Months passed after our last talk and there was absolutely no communication thereafter. I could not come to immediate terms with my new reality; I travelled through a range of emotions.

It also felt childish, as an adult, to be affected by a lost friendship so very much. And even though I had a lonely and self-isolating past during depression, this loss of friendship felt quite unique and very much a trial.

From letting go of attachments to people and things, and being more loving and caring towards and present with family, I had my long list of learning from this saga.

Moreso, the need to embrace what is, and letting go of the need for what once was or what it used to be.